29 Jun Construction Jokes for International Jokes Day
International Joke Day – Construction Jokes Edition
International Joke Day is not just a day for you to prove to everyone how funny you are. It is the perfect day for you to share laughs and to put a smile on people’s faces, including your own. Whether you prefer to share jokes or you like to listen to them, this is a day that is all about smiling, laughing, and having fun, and who wouldn’t want to be a part of a day like this especially armed with the best in construction related jokes?
Best (or Worst) Construction Jokes
We’ve decided to help you out this International Joke Day by searching through the never-ending web and collating the world’s best (or worst) construction jokes available. These will help you gain a few cheap smiles and laughs around the construction site. We actually have one really good construction joke, but unfortunately, we’re still working on it.
- I was going to start off with a great joke about carpentry, but I wasn’t sure if it wood work …
- My boss asked me to attach two pieces of wood together? Absolutely nailed it.
- What do carpenters do at parties? Raise the roof
- I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair …
- What do nervous carpenters do? Bite their nails
- My grandfather always used to say “as one door closes, another one opens”..Great guy but a terrible carpenter.
- What do you call a landscaper’s bank account? A hedge fund
- I fired my landscaper today. He just wasn’t cutting it
- I fired another landscaper the next day. He kept dropping his plants in public!
- In future I’ll just use the same landscaper I used last year. He was really easy to get a lawn with
- What do you call a rude landscaper? A grasshole
- What are plumber’s least favourite vegetables? Leeks
- What do you call a room full of cynical plumbers? A skeptic tank.
- What is the definition of disgusting? Seeing a plumber bite his nails
- How many plumbers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to grab a beer and one to call the electrician
- How do you fix a stuck tap? You facuet.
General Construction Jokes
- What do construction workers and cheating spouses have in common? They’re both home wreckers
- Which country has the best construction? U-Crane.
- I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme
- Why was the concreter discharged after being accused of murder? There was no concrete evidence.
- Jeffrey left his job in construction as he wasn’t able to carry the scaffolding. He handed in his too-weak notices.
- A recruiter asks a candidate “how long were you in your last position?”. The applicant replies “I’d say my biggest weakness is my listening skills”
- Why did the scarecrow get the job? He was outstanding in his field
- Recruiter “could you tell us why you left your previous position?” Candidate “the firm relocated their office and forgot to inform me of the new location”
- What made the invisible man decline the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
- Why did the elephant get rejected for a job? His qualifications were completely irrelephant.
There you have it the 26 best or worst construction related jokes we could find on the internet. We hope it gave you at least one or two giggles and helps you be the jokester of the construction site (…not likely). Leave us a comment with your best construction related joke and try and make the HLH Group team laugh! Alternatively, if you want to join the team then apply online or email us on firstname.lastname@example.org.